27 Haziran 2012 Çarşamba

Freaky Friday: Prometheus

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Warning: I have never seen the Alien movies. I know! I can't believe it either. It's like a live under a rock or something. I've seen parts of it, particularly the iconic scene where the alien is like an inch from Sigourney Weaver's face.
Bad day?
My hermit-like status in regards to the Alien movies, however, does give me a unique perspective on the pseudo-sequel Prometheus. I have no idea how this film is supposed to tie into the plot of the Alien flicks, and after a lengthy discussion with J. Hubs...I still have no idea. So, here's my completely unbiased review of Prometheus...
W-T-F? No joke. The visuals are stunning, over the top, blockbuster proportions. Loved them. Charlize Theron rocks as usual, but why did she play such a small and ultimately insignificant part? David, the android / robot / whatever held so much of the plot in his inorganic hands, but like his electric parts, the rest of him had no substance. Granted he's not human, but hey, character development? Ah! There's the problem.
We want Data!
Prometheus is not a film about characters. Having three movies in front of it, the requirements are all plot based. They need to have A to go to B to meet C so that Aliens makes sense. The problem...it didn't make sense. We have a movie that questions the origins of life and somehow resorts to...hey, see, THIS is how those aliens from Aliens came into being. See? No. I don't see. Not at all.
Don't drink the Kool-Aid
I'm always a little on the annoyed side when a movie gives me more questions than answers. I don't like open-ended points. I want my plot and character arcs wrapped up with pink bows on top. The one exception is when a story brings up philosophical debates a la The Matrix. But, my main character better have a purpose and some growth by the end...otherwise? GRRR. This is my problem with the heroine, Dr. Shaw, played by the lovely Noomi Rapace. All deer-in-headlights, a quick pass at raising questions of faith, and NO GROWTH. Also...

Spoiler alert. Highlight with your mouse to view: Didn't they do the whole alien out of the stomach thing already?

Rating: B

BE HERE NOW: Win a Query and Three Chapter Critique!

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My writing partner, Yelena Casale, and I are participating in the BE HERE NOW auction run by the wonderful Kathy Bradey. We are offering up for auction a query and three chapter critique. Yelena and I will both offer our feedback for your review. Two for the price of one!

BE HERE NOW is a documentary by the late Andy Whitfield, star of the hit show "Spartacus: Blood and Sand". Yelena and I first discovered this phenomenal actor in the Australian film, Gabriel. His work inspired our own writing. When he was diagnosed with lymphoma, he invited a film crew into his home and life to document the journey.

After his death, the documentary remains incomplete. It needs additional funding for filming and editing to make it a reality. That's where you come in. The BE HERE NOW auction proceeds go to support the documentary, and spread awareness about this disease. For more information check out the auction rules.

To bid on the critique please go here. It is item number 9. Also check out all of the other great items up for bid. But, hurry. The auction closes on Tuesday, June 19th at 10pm (New York EST). And don't forget to learn more about the BE HERE NOW project.

1000+ Follower Giveaway: Win Books, Gift Cards, Critiques and more!

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Thank you so much for everyone who spread the word about the BE HERE NOW auctions. You all are amazing. I am so thankful for each and every one of my followers on Twitter, Facebook and this blog. I love interacting with this wonderful community of readers and writers. I hit one of the big milestones on Twitter last week and reached over 1000 followers. That's 1000 people crazy enough to hear what I have to say. You all rock and rule!

As thanks, I'd live to giveaway some prizes. I was lucky enough to attend BookExpo America in NYC. I ended up with lots of great books, but considering that my bookshelf is falling apart and half of my books are in storage, I think it wise to let a few go. In addition, I'm offering gift cards and critiques to sweeten the pot!
a Rafflecopter giveaway

Good luck and thank you!

Freaky Friday: Snow White and the Huntsman

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*Rant warning* I want my two hours of life back. I'm not kidding. I'm tempted to sue the creators of Snow White and the Huntsman. Nothing saved this movie. Not Charlize Theron in all of her usual brilliance, not staring at hottie Chris Hemsworth, not even 7 armed dwarfs. Nothing. I honestly thought the worst part would be Kristen Stewart's acting and the rest might be half way decent. Oh my, so wrong, so very very wrong.
Let start with the story...oh wait, we can't! There is no story. It starts out like the typical fairy tale, evil stepmother kills father, becomes Queen and puts little princess in a tower. Okay, fine. Then, little princess grows up i.e. "comes of age" and escapes. Great, I'm on board. Love to see a kick butt princess who saves herself instead of waiting for the white knight to show up. But...
Mirror, Mirror, Let the Queen win!
It all goes to hell. Actually, no, if Snow White would have journeyed to Hell like Dante's Inferno, THEN it might have been interesting. But, no, she travels to a creepy mushroom-inducing hallucinogenic forest, which serves no purpose. Onward to a regular forest, where she meets the obligatory dwarfs, which serves no purpose other than to meet said dwarfs. Then to a pretty forest, enhancted by fairies, and meets a special stag, which all serves no purpose. Noticing a theme yet? Then, we have her traveling over hills like the Fellowship in New Zealand Middle Earth, which...wait for it...serves no purpose. Afterward, we travel through ANOTHER forest, this one snow-ridden, which serves no purpose. To FINALLY, after I don't know how many days, get to the castle of the Duke where she can raise an army to kill the Queen. Here's the kicker...
Look, another forest. Surely, we must travel through it.
The Duke's son, her childhood friend, originally rode to the castle to join the Queen's hunting party and re-capture Snow White. His real agenda is to save her but that's not important to my point. It took him MAXIMUM three hours from the Duke's castle to the Queen's castle and...ready...he didn't have to go through ANY FORESTS!!! AHHH!
This showdown brought to you by the 30 Second Starz Bunnies.
If that wasn't bad enough aka having no purpose, the epic showdown between Snow White and the Queen lasts...oh about thirty seconds. WHAT? You kept me traveling through unnecessary forests for a thirty second climax? (Insert dirty joke here). GIVE ME MY MONEY AND LIFE BACK!
See, easy!
Oh and one more thing, if you put a hottie like Chris Hemsworth in a movie, I better be getting a shirtless scene! Nope. Not with Snow White. Apparently, she's too pure. *Snort* Right.

Rating: Big fat F.

Social Media's Positive Powers

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Social media needs to be used with the larger audience in mind. When it is easy to engage in conversations with friends over the internet, we forget that others may be looking at our conversations. Thus, we often see meltdowns or controversies of authors, agents or editors behaving badly. In a world that is closer together than ever before, it's so simple to spot the negative actions and sometimes they overshadow the good. Today, for this Writer Wednesday, I'd like to highlight some of the positives I found around the internet superhighways.

Crits for Water

Run by the amazing Kat Brauer, Crits for Water is an online project running from March 31, 2012 to June 30, 2012. Writers pledge a donation to charity in return for a critique from authors, agents or editors. All critiquers donate their time to the auctions or raffles. The goal for 2012 is to raise $10,000 to help bring clean water to people in need.

BE HERE NOW

BE HERE NOW is a documentary by the late Andy Whitfield, star of the hit show "Spartacus: Blood and Sand" season 1. It highlights his life and raises awareness for non-Hodgkin lymphoma, a form of cancer. The auctions raise money to ensure completion of the film. Run by wonderful YA writer, Kathy Bradey, up for auction are critiques from tons of writers and agents. Yelena and I found the project so worthwhile, we jumped at the chance to be involved.

Supporting the IS Foundation 

Heather McCorkle, the super talented YA writer and co-founder of the Writers Road chat on Twitter, will be donating a portion of her book sales to the IS Foundation. Fans of Lost and Vampire Diaries will know the organization's founder - actor, Ian Somerhalder. The IS Foundation supports programs for global conservation, green energy, ending animal cruelty and works with a multitude of non-profit organizations worldwide. To read more about Heather's support of this cause, check out her post here.
Thank you to all of these amazing authors, agents and editors for doing their best to help support these causes. 
Have you spotted a person in the publishing or writing community doing an act of good? Let's talk about the positive.

25 Haziran 2012 Pazartesi

Henry Rollins brings The Long March to Durban

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I’ve started doing some freelance writing for a local entertainment and lifestyle website. Unfortunately though, despite submitting articles about upcoming Durban events weeks in advance, the pieces are, so far, never placed online in time. Much to my frustration. And hopefully not to my financial detriment. Anyway, here’s the blog post I wrote about Henry Rollins’s recent South African tour, followed by my thoughts after attending Saturday’s show in Durban.


Outspoken entertainer Henry Rollins hits Durban

Given the number of sell-out comedy shows that regularly take place in the city, it’s pretty safe to say that Durbanites are huge comedy fans. This month though, local lovers of stand-up will be treated to something different... in the form of outspoken social commentator Henry Rollins. Noelle Adams introduces the outrageous counter culture observer.

Henry Rollins may not be a household name in South Africa but the multi-talented entertainer has racked up a varied career over the past three decades. Rollins initially gained recognition as the singer-songwriter of highly influential Californian punk band Black Flag in the early 1980s. He’s since produced for other music groups and worked as a radio DJ, columnist, published author and blogger. Rollins has also been a TV presenter, voice artist and film actor, typically playing the muscled tough guy with a fast mouth.

Rollins has arguably made the greatest impression, though, as a hard-hitting spoken word artist, touring widely around the world. Unlike a conventional stand-up comedy routine, a spoken word performance is more free-form. In Rollins’s case, he mixes anecdotes from his personal life with opinions on everything from pop culture to politics. Content can vary between the hilarious, touching, thought-provoking and inspiring.

For the past 15 years or so, Henry Rollins has built up a reputation as one of the world’s smartest and most insightful spoken word performers, with a passionate, ever-growing fan base. The man has toured South Africa before – speaking his anti-authoritarian mind in Johannesburg, Cape Town and Pretoria – but this month he comes to Durban for the very first time, as part of his latest world tour.

Having already performed in 10 countries and on 3 continents since the beginning of 2012, Rollins brings his one-man show The Long March to the East Coast for one night only, on Saturday, 19 May at Suncoast Casino and Entertainment World.

In The Long March, Rollins shares stories about the more unusual places he’s visited during his globe-trotting quest for a deeper understanding of humanity. The tour is a perfect companion to the entertainer’s latest book, Occupants, which collects photographs and commentary on the most misunderstood and misrepresented countries he’s travelled through. Including South Africa.

With his brutal honesty and unapologetic abrasiveness, Rollins probably won’t be to everyone’s taste. The Long March has a No Under 16 age restriction. This said, open-minded adults in the audience should enjoy a roller-coaster evening of social consciousness and comedy. As Rollins channels his outrage into making the world a better place, you’ll be challenged to alter your perceptions… while having a good laugh at the absurdities of our global society.

Tickets for The Long March are R278, and they’re available through Computicket.

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Henry Rollins is known for pushing limits, particularly in terms of physically challenging himself, and after his Durban show, I can concur. The man has AMAZING stamina! More so than the audience it must be said. Rollins simply walked out onto the stage, picked up his microphone and promptly began talking solidly... for over 2 and a half hours. No intermission. No pause even for a sip of water.

I admit that before the show I was worried it was going to be a relentlessly foul-mouthed angry man rant – as some of Rollins’s recorded spoken word performances have veered towards in the past. I was pleasantly surprised, however. Some social commentators radiate arrogance *cough cough... Gareth Cliff... cough* but Rollins doesn’t put himself on a pedestal, smugly dishing out opinions on everything below him. The Long March is full of comical, self-deprecating admissions about Rollins’s own insecurities and failings, which make the man’s views instantly more palatable.

Rollins also demonstrates an impressive vocabulary – when last did you hear the Sword of Damocles mentioned during a one-man show? – and his grasp of description is so vivid it’ll have you squirming in your seat when one of his gross-out tales pops up.

For the record, these were some of the topics Rollins talked about in Durban:


  • Obama endorsing gay marriage.
  • Conservative American politicians and their “War on the Vag”.
  • Touring Australia and dealing with hecklers.
  • Turning 50.
  • Eye-opening and priority-altering experiences during his Black Flag days.
  • Being a “work slut” and filming the Nat Geo Wild series Animal Underworld.
  • His experiences visiting Vietnam, Pakistan and North Korea.


There were also a good few jokes made about the rather odd venue. I’m not familiar enough with the layout of Suncoast to state how long it’s been there, but The Long March took place in a black draped marquee (hastily?) erected to the side of the casino entrance. The sound was good, and the stage was well lit despite the surrounding gloom so I have no complaints about that side of the set-up. This said, the audience’s seats were nothing more than plastic chairs, and they were agony on my butt cheeks and lower back. Just as bad, the venue doors slammed distractingly and annoyingly every time someone left to go to the bathroom.

So yeah, a really enjoyable show from Henry Rollins and I’m happy to report that Durbanites did actually come out to show their support. Next time though, a proper theatre venue with proper seating would be preferred.



Movies out today: Upping the star wattage

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After last weekend's dud set of movie releases, today's trio of new films inject some much needed star power back into proceedings

Men in Black 3:
Screening in 2D and converted 3D is this rather unexpected sci-fi comedy sequel. It's been 15 years since the world first met gadget-packing government agents K (Tommy Lee Jones ) and J (Will Smith), the Earth's first line of defense against extra-terrestrial troublemakers. With Jemaine Clement's villain up to no good, J time-travels back to the 1960s to stop an assassination attempt on a much younger K (Josh Brolin). Barry Sonnenfeld directs again.

Men in Black 3 is currently sitting with an aggregated Rotten Tomatoes review score of 63%. Apparently it's a pretty perfunctory popcorn flick that looks cool, moves quickly and avoids bloat. Unsurprisingly, Brolin and Clement are the big scene stealers. In summary: MIB3 is an improvement on 2 but is still nowhere as good as the original comic book adaptation. 


The Lucky One:
Those in the market for a mushy date night movie probably want to consider this latest Nicholas (The Notebook) Sparks novel adaptation. Zac Efron is a US marine, who insists he survived an incident-filled tour of Iraq because of a photo he finds of a smiling woman (Taylor Schilling). Back in the US, and wracked with survivor's guilt, he tracks down this lonely single mother and their lives intertwine. Gee, I can't imagine how things are going to turn out...

The Lucky One is 20% Fresh on Rotten Tomatoes. If you love Sparks's escapist romances, you'll probably enjoy this one. However, if you need realism in your entertainment diet, beware! The Lucky One is evidently wall-to-wall coincidences, cliches and artificiality, all smothered in syrup.


The Rum Diary:
Strange how this comedy drama has slipped under the radar considering its impressive cast: Johnny Depp, Aaron Eckhart, Amber Heard, Giovanni Ribisi and Richard Jenkins. Based on the Hunter S Thompson novel,  Depp plays a journalist who escapes 1950s New York for exotic Puerto Rico. There he drinks wildly, has all sorts of encounters with the seedy, rich and corrupt, and faces a major ethical crisis.

The Rum Diary divided critics when it was released in the US 6 months ago. Johnny Depp is fantastic as a boozy hack, and the supporting cast are also great, but the entire project apparently just shambles along without any real dramatic drive. Enjoyable but pointless. 50% Fresh.


Trailer Addict: The Amazing Spider-Man

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Currently, punters seem to be torn between the chances of The Avengers and The Dark Knight Rises emerging as the highest grossing superhero film of 2012. But there is a third option though that evidently a lot of people are forgetting, and that's The Amazing Spider-Man.

Even ignoring Sam Raimi's record-breaking film trilogy, the arachnid-powered Marvel superhero is a merchandising sensation, so beloved around the world they've even made international versions of the character. As a result I have a feeling in my gut that this rather unexpected, much discussed reboot  is going to be a major contender... especially after the release of this fantastically thrilling third trailer above (following a surprisingly lengthy debut trailer and second feature trailer). 


Evidently drawing a hefty chunk of inspiration from the Ultimate Spider-Man comic, The Amazing Spider-Man focuses on our hero's early days as a masked crime fighter. Andrew Garfield plays lanky loner - and "professional wallflower" - Peter Parker, who has to come to terms with his new powers while juggling the demands of high school. Complicating the situation even further, Peter's love interest is his Science-loving classmate Gwen Stacy (Emma Stone), whose police captain father (Denis Leary) is hunting the wise-cracking vigilante Spider-Man. Meanwhile, as the film's chief plot point, Peter's quest to find out why his parents abandoned him years previously brings him into contact with brilliant Oscorp geneticist Doc Connors (Rhys Ifans), who will do anything to regrow his lost arm. Rounding out the cast, Martin Sheen and Sally Field play Peter's beloved (but all too fragile) Uncle Ben and Aunt May.

Directed by Marc (500 Days of Summer) Webb, The Amazing Spider-Man has been specifically shot for 3D.


I don't think there's any doubt that The Amazing Spider-Man will be a superheroic hit. Until now I've rolled my eyes at the marketing department's groan-worthy, heavy-handed attempts to differentiate the film from its predecessors by emphasising a supposed "untold family secrets" storyline (let's not forget that the reboot was controversially announced less than 3 years after Spider-Man 3 released).

This gripe aside, trailer #3 has hit all the right buttons for me. The cast looks spot-on and I can't wait to see smart-mouth, slender Spidey in action, resorting to more "realistic" acrobatic combat instead of being a largely CGI creation. Most surprising of all, The Amazing Spider-Man is actually a 3D movie I want to watch! With all its web-slinging and swinging between New York skyscrapers, I think the film is really going to benefit from the format.

The Amazing Spider-Man releases in North America on 3 July and in South Africa on 13 July.


Girlz 'N' Games comic #100: Achievement Unlocked!

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Sure, Falkor is probably an epic flying mount, but I think we can safely assume that Erin put in the time and effort grinding for him once she met all the other requirements...

Anyway, here we are: the milestone 100th Girlz ‘N’ Games comic! It’s been a bumpy ride at times, but to the GNG fans out there, thanks for sticking around. Your support is appreciated. Now let’s all have some cake to celebrate.



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P.S. If you got a kick out of this Girlz 'N' Games comic, please "Like" the Girlz 'N' Games Facebook page.

Cosplay Monday: Dark Elf Sorceress

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As some of you may know, I take costume parties pretty seriously. In the gaming and comic con-challenged "fishing village" where I live there are not nearly enough opportunities to dress up, so every chance to cosplay should be readily seized and planned for.

This Saturday evening was a friend's "Fairies & Folklore" themed 30th birthday party, and I loosely modelled my look on the Dark Elf Sorceress in the Warhammer video game. The costume is a tad on the skimpy side, but I've worked hard for my abs, dammit! I will show them off.

For the record, this same concept art became the visual inspiration for my half-elf warlock from an aborted DnD campaign of a few years back.




24 Haziran 2012 Pazar

Girlz 'N' Games comic #100: Achievement Unlocked!

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Sure, Falkor is probably an epic flying mount, but I think we can safely assume that Erin put in the time and effort grinding for him once she met all the other requirements...

Anyway, here we are: the milestone 100th Girlz ‘N’ Games comic! It’s been a bumpy ride at times, but to the GNG fans out there, thanks for sticking around. Your support is appreciated. Now let’s all have some cake to celebrate.



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P.S. If you got a kick out of this Girlz 'N' Games comic, please "Like" the Girlz 'N' Games Facebook page.

“Just the Pussy I’ve Been Looking For”: Defending the character of Catwoman

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Well, well, well, it seems that Batman’s feline femme fatale, Catwoman is back in the spotlight as a result of her latest comic cover – essentially breaking her spine to emphasise all her enticing lady lumps at the same time. Much to the amusement of various cartoonists.


Basically the online reaction to this cover pose – which varies between eye-rolling and outrage – is a resurgence of the controversy that greeted the character’s relaunch in September last year during the first wave of #1s unveiled as part of DC’s New 52 reboot of their entire comics universe. Catwoman #1 began with Selina Kyle fleeing her apartment, half undressed, and ended with her astride Batman for a little rooftop nookie. (More pages from Catwoman #1 here, and from #2 here).



Now the reason I feel the need to weigh in is because too often lately I’ve seen Catwoman dismissively referred to as Batman’s one-dimensional “fuck buddy,” and that angers me. For sure, Warner-DC’s current treatment of the character on the printed page and in the Arkham City video game (where Selina moaned every single line as if she was writhing around on bed sheets), reinforces that view. However, I feel the need to stand up for the character; to help reclaim some of her importance and validity. Catwoman deserves more than to be written off as simply another babe in comics – sex on legs, to figuratively stroke between the legs of young male readers.






To start with, Catwoman has always been sexy, and I refuse to count “sexy” in the Negatives column when asking the questions “Is this character complex?” and “Would women like this character?” Growing up in the 1980s, my animated heroines were the likes of She-Ra, Cheetara and April O’Neil, and looking back now they were pretty high on in the hotness stakes, while still demonstrating traits like courage, determination, capability and loyalty to their friends – all of which a little girl could happily admire. I didn’t feel alienated by their looks, nor made to feel inferior. I was too busy thinking “How cool would it be to be Cheetara?”

Anyway, sexiness has always been integral to the character of Catwoman so it would be stupid to ever exorcise that aspect in some misguided, politically correct attempt to make the character more “real” and “relatable”. For one thing, such a change would convey the message that it's unacceptable for women to be playful and assertive regarding their sexuality. For another, Batman’s origins are in pulp detective fiction, and the femme fatale – of which Catwoman is a classic example – is one of the vital ingredients in such a warped world of crime, shadows and all-round extremes. It made sense for Catwoman, Batman’s first female villain, to initially appear as a raven-haired Veronica Lake-type, a sultry seductress and jewellery thief who nonetheless refuses to be bullied by the tough guys around her.


Catwoman is arguably one of Batman’s most dangerous foes because of her sexiness – which she has complete, coherent control over. She’s not an emotionally torn Daddy’s Girl like Talia al Ghul; she’s not like those crazy dames Harley Quinn and Poison Ivy, whose manipulation of the Dark Knight is as the result of pheromones and mind-control kisses (view my comic on the women of Arkham City here). Boasting an unfailing Chaotic Neutral character alignment, Catwoman is sane and unquestionably her own person, seducing, scratching or assisting Batman as she sees fit. She has no tricks or super abilities to manipulate Batman. She alone has that effect on him.

So yeah, there’s no problem with being sexy. Problems arise though when you don’t trust a character to be “naturally” and effortlessly sexy while going about their business. By overtly trying to be sexy, the effect is ruined, and that’s where Warner-DC is failing at the moment. Pop culture consumers aren’t stupid. They can easily detect desperate attempts at titillation. And as Catwoman is rapidly stripped of all defining characteristics except for “permanently horny sex kitten” and “allergic to clothing”, things become blatantly ridiculous. The character becomes caricature... which alienates serious, passionate comic readers. Of which there are a good chunk of women.


At this point though, I do feel the need to play Devil’s Advocate for a moment. I do worry that my perceptions of how Catwoman is being portrayed right now are being twisted by what’s receiving online commentary. There was a similar surge of criticism regarding Catwoman when the animated Batman: Year One DVD was released in October last year. The disc included a 15-minute Catwoman short, and this strip-tease clip was released to market it.






Out of context, this sequence appears horribly exploitative. However, viewing the short in its entirety (which you can do online here), paints a very different picture. Written by Batman: The Animated Series’ Paul Dini and taking its cue from Frank Miller’s gritty 80s reinvention of the character – where Selina Kyle is a cynical, streetwise Skid Row prostitute – I thought it was pretty great actually. Catwoman and sex go hand in hand, and here the latter was cleverly infused into the narrative.

I also confess that I haven’t been able to get my paws on the Catwoman comic since the New 52 relaunch, so I don’t know what Selina’s behaviour is like within the pages of her solo title. I haven’t read the new series but “Bad” is what I hear a lot. I've really got a great deal of Catwoman catching up to do, with recommendations that I check out Ed Brubaker’s relaunch run from 2001/2 especially.


The last time I religiously read Catwoman was while Jim Balent was drawing the character. This of course was during the early to mid 1990s – a period that Grant Morrison, in Supergods (my review), labels the Image Era – where, with artists like Jim Lee, Rob Liefeld and Michael Turner leading the charge, there was basically only one physical character model for each sex and it was all about big muscles, big tits, gritted teeth and costume pouches. Catwoman was magnificently endowed in her purple bodysuit at this time, with her stories little more than featherlight, action-packed escapism. They were at their best though when Doug Moench was writing, and introducing a little more depth to proceedings.

(More Balent Catwoman covers here).
With over 70 years of comic book mythology behind her, I refuse to believe Catwoman is a simplistic, superficial character, and it angers me to see her described as such. I also don’t think she has nothing to offer female readers. Catwoman is a fantasy figure as much as Batman. Men want to be with her; women want to be her. Selina Kyle may not be as upstanding as someone like Wonder Woman, but this anti-heroine is admirable as an ultra-resourceful, self-made woman who had clawed herself out of the gutter. She doesn’t brood like Batman. She’s put aside the pain of her past to focus on the here and now, embracing playfulness and fun instead. And she’s a smart, highly competent fighter, survivor and free-running acrobat, very good at looking after herself and those she loves.




As for her potent sexuality, who wouldn’t want Catwoman’s unwavering confidence in her body and the power it gives her to get what she wants? Michelle Pfeiffer’s Catwoman in Batman Returns was miles from canon, but nonetheless demonstrates the fantasy appeal of the character in our reality. Catwoman is an unapologetic bad girl, giving the finger to conservatives, rich capitalists and stiff law enforcers alike.

Pfeiffer’s Selina Kyle doesn’t cope particularly well with her post-murder personality split – torn between two polarised definitions of womanhood: submissive pink, "cutesy" femininity, and dark, empowered S&M temptress. However, there’s no denying the liberation she feels after slipping on that home-stitched catsuit, and how her new “Hear me roar!” attitude comes with multiple benefits, perking up her life in all areas.


I can also guarantee that the way Anne Hathaway will portray the character in Christopher Nolan’s upcoming The Dark Knight Rises will be nothing like the current come-hither legs-splayed Catwoman in the comics. Which makes for a bizarre contradiction in characterisation, coming from the same company who owns the character... Although Hathaway’s Catwoman has appeared quite flavourless so far in marketing material for the 20 July release, it may fall to her to reclaim some admiration for the character before "tits and ass" Selina Kyle, as she is depicted in the current comics continuity, becomes the standardised – and highly disappointing – interpretation.


P.S. For the record, I have no problem with Batman and Catwoman’s rooftop trysts. If you think about it, in a warped world of men and women donning tights and masks it makes sense for some sexual kinks to creep in. You’re on an endorphin high after illegally beating the crap out of some criminals. You’re in absolute peak physical condition. You’re anonymous. Why wouldn’t you get it on with a similarly hot freak?

Then again, if you’re a comic creator heading down this controversial route, events have to be handled with more taste – depicting such hook-ups as a mutually desired union of equals instead of some one-sided erotic fan fiction. Compare this image with that of the cowgirl coupling near the beginning of this post and I hope you'll understand what I mean.

Trailer Tuesday: Sinister and The Possession

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We're doubling up the demon-delivered scares today with trailers for 2 upcoming horror flicks, the haunted house tale Sinister and exorcism thriller The Possession.





Now I loves me a good skin-crawler but these days I very rarely watch horror movies at the cinema given the dire quality of most of these genre releases - which are often sloppy and formulaic. I've come to prefer watching horror films at home. Perhaps it's because you're kind of letting evil into the safety of your personal  space, but even the shittiest supernatural horror flick has extra emotional oomph when you watch it alone late at night on the couch, with the lights off...

Anyway, upcoming releases Sinister and The Possession both seem to suffer from the standard problem of over-revelation in their trailers. Although both films feature contorting possessed children, powerful demonic foes and desperate parents, The Possession seems to be the more overblown of the two - despite apparently being based on a true story.

Produced by horror cinema icon Sam (The Evil Dead) Raimi, The Possession sees Jeffrey Dean Morgan (playing a good guy for once) and ex-wife Kyra Sedgwick resorting to drastic measures when their sweet young daughter (Madison Davenport) undergoes a drastic personality change and strange things start happening around her. Science and modern medicine can't explain the weirdness and the family soon comes to believe that their daughter is possessed by a Dybbuk - a body-stealing demon from Jewish folklore. Eschewing the Catholic rituals you so often see in movies, The Possession instead depicts a Jewish exorcism.


It'll be interesting to see how potent The Possession is, given its PG-13 age restriction. Hopefully it will still be appropriately unnerving. You'd think exorcism films would be easy to get right but Hollywood stuffs it up almost every single time... most recently with this particularly awful case of "bait and switch". For the record, the last good possession film was probably the ambiguous and reality-grounded The Exorcism of Emily Rose.

This is interesting because the writer-director of Emily Rose, Scott Derrickson, is the man behind the camera for R-rated Sinister. Produced by part of the team responsible for the well-received and highly atmospheric haunted house/possession tales Paranormal Activity and Insidious, Sinister centres on a family that moves into a home that was once the site of several murders. That horrifying fact is probably part of the appeal for the family's breadwinner, crime writer Ethan Hawke, except his pursuit of the story leads him to believe that malicious pagan deity Bagul - who lusts for children's souls - is behind the slayings, entering our world through photographs and home movie footage. Vincent D'Onofrio also stars.

Sinister sounds like it's in the vein of The Amityville Horror. Now although that high profile remake was a disappointing missed opportunity, I enjoy a good haunted house thriller even more so than an intense demonic possession flick. So I remain ever hopeful of being genuinely terrified one day by one of these movies. As it turns out Sinister screened at this year's SXSW festival in Texas, where it received a very healthy response from the audience. I wouldn't trust the film's current 100% Fresh rating on Rotten Tomatoes, but with reviewers flinging around words like "effective," "sophisticated" and "inventive", I think this one may be worth seeking out.


Sinister opens in the US on 5 October 2012, and The Possession on 31 August. In both cases, the films' South African release dates have yet to be set.

Magnificent Malificent

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On Tuesday, less than a week after filming kicked off in England, the first official image was released from Disney's upcoming fairy tale movie, Malificent. This live-action film delves into the character and motivations of  Malificent, the disgruntled dark fairy, dragon shape-shifter and antagonist from Disney's 1959 animated classic - based of course on the Sleeping Beauty story.

With Angelina Jolie playing the title character, the first official pic is a delicious tease - showing the actress in make-up and related prosthetics (including fake cheekbones) designed by the legendary Rick Baker.


Now with dozens of other live-action releases still to come, fairy tale films are currently sitting somewhere between comic book adaptations and video game movies on the quality scale. Nobody has quite cracked it yet, with the makers of this fantasy sub-genre typically getting so caught up in world creation and CGI-visuals that they forget to deliver a good story and captivating characters. I'm holding thumbs, but Malificent could easily end up being another Snow White and the Huntsman (which I liked but couldn't love). And honestly, do we really need a movie that, according to the Disney press release "reveals the events that hardened [Malificent's] heart and drove her to curse the baby Aurora?" Just let evil be instead of hauling out some cliched back-story and psychologising enigmatic characters into blandness.

For the record, Malificent has been a while coming. Apparently Brad (The Incredibles, Mission: Impossible 4) Bird was flirting with the idea for the film back in 2009, before Tim Burton announced in 2010 that he wanted to retell the Sleeping Beauty story from the perspective of (arguably) Disney's most powerful villain. A year later, Mr "Alice in Wonderland Revamp" was off the project as well, and Disney briefly courted Harry Potter's David Yates before handling helming duties to visual effects and production designer Robert Stromberg - who has 2 Oscars under his belt for Avatar and Alice in Wonderland, but is otherwise a directing rookie. Angelina Jolie was always the first choice for the horned sorceress, but the project seemed so slow to be realised that I was half expecting it to sink, and be lost forever, in the bowels of Hollywood Development Hell.


But nope, Malificent is happening after all, and has managed to round up a pretty impressive cast to flank Jolie. Super 8's Elle Fanning is blonde and beautiful Princess Aurora, while Imelda Staunton, Juno Temple and Lesley Manville are Thistletwit, Knotgrass and Flittle, the trio of fairies who become Aurora's protectors.

In terms of new character additions to the familiar story, there's Miranda Richardson as a Fairy Queen and Malificent's mean-spirited aunt, Sam Riley as Malificent's right hand man (and sometimes raven), and Kenneth Cranham's power-hungry human king, intent on ruling the fairy realm. Meanwhile, South Africa's own Sharlto (District 9) Copley is Stefan, the king's half-human half-fairy son, Malificent's love interest(!) and/or Aurora's royal father... or something.

All in all, Malificent isn't sounding dissimilar to Wicked, which examined how events in her youth warped a strong-willed and principled young woman into The Wizard of Oz's Wicked Witch of the West. Let's just hope Angie's Malificent consistently delivers cool, confident badassery and isn't prone to tearful moping in her quieter moments like Charlize's Ravenna.

Anyway, for some additional Malificent pics, you can check out these behind-the-scenes paparazzi snaps. These pics suggest our "heroine" is naturally horned, and brings to mind this Tiefling spellcaster from a Dungeons & Dragons 4th Edition handbook.


However things turn out, we've got a long wait for Malificent. The film is currently set for release - in 3D - on 14 March 2014.

Movies out today: Slapstick, teens and Germans

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Three very different movie open in South Africa today. I can't say any of the trio particularly appeal to me but perhaps one will be up your alley.

Mad Buddies:
Sure to break local box office records from today is the latest lowbrow comedy from Leon Schuster. Eschewing candid camera gags for a fictional narrative, the funnyman plays a former anti-poaching operative who is forced to road-trip from Durban to Johannesburg with his sworn enemy (Kenneth Nkosi). Little do they know their bickering misadventures are being filmed by an ambitious TV producer (Tanit Phoenix) for a new reality show.

If you have a more sophisticated sense of humour, stay far away from Mad Buddies, which sticks to the Schuster formula of slapstick gags ad nauseum - typically involving body functions or an accident-prone midget. If, however, you enjoy puerile poop jokes, you'll probably love the film. For the record, The Movies.co.za gave Mad Buddies 3 and a half stars out of 5... although that score didn't come from one of our regular reviewers.


LOL:
If you've ever wanted to watch a movie where Miley Cyrus plays with her cellphone for 97 minutes, here's your chance! In this comedy coming-of-age tale - based on a successful, award-winning French film - Cyrus plays a high schooler who is so busy living her life and sharing her saucy adventures via social media that a massive communication gap has widened between her and her mother (Demi Moore).

LOL wasn't screened for critics when it was released in the US back in May. So few people watched it that the film doesn't even have a Rotten Tomatoes rating. It has however earned itself 1.8 stars out of 10 on the IMDB user review scale. Words like "vapid," "painful," "moronic" and "made for TV" have been used to describe the film. Beware.


Goethe!:
Screening at select Ster Kinekor cinemas is this German-language historical romance, also known as Young Goethe in Love. Seriously. Alexander Fehling plays the 18th Century philosopher, poet and politician in his youth. Sent to the sleepy countryside after failing his law exams, Goethe falls for a local beauty, Lotte (Miriam Stein), who is betrothed to another man.

Apparently in the vein of Shakespeare in Love, Goethe! mixes romance, humour and drama to (mostly) satisfying effect. Sporting a Rotten Tomatoes rating of 61% Fresh, the film is far from deep but offers some lighthearted and charming escapism. Probably not the most realistic portrayal of Goethe though.