Freaky Friday: Prometheus

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Warning: I have never seen the Alien movies. I know! I can't believe it either. It's like a live under a rock or something. I've seen parts of it, particularly the iconic scene where the alien is like an inch from Sigourney Weaver's face.

Bad day?

My hermit-like status in regards to the Alien movies, however, does give me a unique perspective on the pseudo-sequel Prometheus. I have no idea how this film is supposed to tie into the plot of the Alien flicks, and after a lengthy discussion with J. Hubs...I still have no idea. So, here's my completely unbiased review of Prometheus...
W-T-F? No joke. The visuals are stunning, over the top, blockbuster proportions. Loved them. Charlize Theron rocks as usual, but why did she play such a small and ultimately insignificant part? David, the android / robot / whatever held so much of the plot in his inorganic hands, but like his electric parts, the rest of him had no substance. Granted he's not human, but hey, character development? Ah! There's the problem.

We want Data!

Prometheus is not a film about characters. Having three movies in front of it, the requirements are all plot based. They need to have A to go to B to meet C so that Aliens makes sense. The problem...it didn't make sense. We have a movie that questions the origins of life and somehow resorts to...hey, see, THIS is how those aliens from Aliens came into being. See? No. I don't see. Not at all.

Don't drink the Kool-Aid

I'm always a little on the annoyed side when a movie gives me more questions than answers. I don't like open-ended points. I want my plot and character arcs wrapped up with pink bows on top. The one exception is when a story brings up philosophical debates a la The Matrix. But, my main character better have a purpose and some growth by the end...otherwise? GRRR. This is my problem with the heroine, Dr. Shaw, played by the lovely Noomi Rapace. All deer-in-headlights, a quick pass at raising questions of faith, and NO GROWTH. Also...

Spoiler alert. Highlight with your mouse to view: Didn't they do the whole alien out of the stomach thing already?

Rating: B